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the heard world 40: drones

20 minutes of your favourite worker drone, live from my living room, november 4th, 2006. all featured noises are from homemade instruments. recorded using 1/4″ tape on a sanyo “slim 8″ cassette recorder.

the heard world 39: Degeneration Special II

an amazing amount of work went into this show, trust me. i had to get drunk by myself in public, piss on a dumpster, then gigglishly lament all the way home in a cab. all the while, i managed to have a live DIY orgy of electronic nonsense and an overly-priced plastic glockenspiel that was subsequently interrupted by becky getting home earlier than expected. special thanks to T for the additional audio.

Please listen in stereo. use headphones if you have great patience with your ears in terms of left vs. right playtimes. siezures are not my fault.

the heard world 38: FM Radio

sorry for the lack of shows lately. i’ve moved my address as well as been over the pond. more will follow.

Enjoy this show, broadcast over FM radio to my kitchen. if you don’t like it, think of it as filler until the next installment. special thanks to toby and ami.

Hooting Yard: A Bonkers Alibi

If you are suspected of having committed a crime, and are placed under arrest by law enforcement officers, never provide an alibi which is bonkers. This advice holds true whether you are innocent or guilty, or even in that grey area between the two, like a Kafka character.

Let us assume, for the purposes of our argument, that you were indeed the shady, limping figure eye-witnesses recalled seeing emerging from the pastry shop clutching a handful of banknotes fresh from the opened till over which is now slumped the grievously but not fatally wounded pastry shop proprietor. The pastry shop is a couple of miles north of Bodger’s Spinney, in that little arcade known as the One-Time Haunt Of Flappers. You motored away in the sidecar of your accomplice’s getaway motorbike, and just twenty minutes later you were sat in the snug of the Cow & Pins squandering your dishonestly-obtained banknotes on bottled stout.

When the police come to arrest you, whether it be that very day or weeks, months, or years hence, do not say: “At the time of the pastry shop robbery I was clambering up a mountainside in the Himalayas carrying a crate of exotic perfumes in preparation for a long-overdue performance of Scriabin’s unfinished Mysterium, officer”. This is what we call a bonkers alibi.

  • Bonkers Alibis
  • Blazing Excelsior Saturated With Turpentine
  • Elegant Smudges
  • Ten Days in a Ditch (Remembering Bobnit Tivol)
  • Essential Items for your Camping Trip

This episode was first broadcast on Feburary 15th 2006. You can read a transcript of this show in Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website.

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Hooting Yard: Blodgett Island Parts 3 and 4

Lothar Preen and Dobson are trudging through the forest. They meet up with Blodgett and go to the hatch.

hatch.jpg
Dobson : “What is this thing?”

Blodgett : “Exactly. It’s time we talked about this.”

***

The Grunty Man is packing salted fish on to the raft. Old Halob asks fictional athlete Bobnit Tivol if he has any knowledge of maritime matters. “Are you voting me off?” shouts fictional athlete Bobnit Tivol. He heads off angrily to see Marigold Chew. He tells her he knows she is a fugitive from justice. “Your secret’s safe with me but you’re not getting my spot on the raft!”

Marigold Chew : “If I want your spot I’ll get it”

This exciting conclusion to Blodgett Island was originally recorded on the 11th Jan 2006. For a complete transcript, please visit the Hooting Yard website. Photo by Kevmander.

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the heard world 37: aleatory and creatures

i’m sorry i have been mostly absent from your lives. things are very busy at the heard world headquarters, and we are short staffed due to a scheduling mishap involving an unfortunate amount of staff members taking their summer vacations at the same time. i have personally scrapped together this show for your enjoyment which includes rambling through a homemade microphone on the way to the liquor store modulated through a homemade delay pedal; rebote 2 and several insects, birds, and RF signals that play together nicely. We end with a short motorcycle test ride on my 1975 Honda CB750F. see if you can hear the part where i stall the engine like the true winner i am.

Hooting Yard: Blodgett Island Parts 1 and 2

The beach. Solemn music. Ah-Fang Van Der Houygendorp’s funeral. Everyone is looking very deep and meaningful, holding hands and comforting one another. Lothar Preen is now looking even more soulful than before, if such a thing is possible. Dobson is back and in charge of the arrangements. He asks Mrs Gubbins if she wants to say anything. She looks sulky, but I think it is meant to be grief, and shakes her head. Lothar Preen launches into a speech about what a great guy Ah-Fang Van Der Houygendorp was, even though he didn’t get to know him.

island.jpg

Blodgett arrives, still soaked in Ah-Fang Van Der Houygendorp’s blood. “It was my fault! We found a plane! I would have gone but my leg was hurt. He was a hero.” Dobson loses it, runs over and knocks Blodgett to the ground and begins to beat him up, shouting “Where were you? Where were you?” The others pull him away as we pause for the first advert break.

At this point we learn that L’Oreal has a new product featuring “light reflecting booster technology”.

This special episode of Hooting Yard was recorded on December 28th 2005. You can read the complete transcript on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website.

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