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Entries Tagged as 'Hooting Yard'

Hooting Yard: Pallid Ada, The Crippled Heiress

March 12th, 2010 · No Comments

The wind was howling across the desolate moors. It was an incredibly howly wind, and they were almost unbelievably desolate moors. Such desolation has seldom been howled upon by wild winds anywhere, ever, throughout the records of time, since the unimaginably distant past when the moors were an alluvial plain across which roamed weird primitive [...]

 

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Hooting Yard: The Fatal Duckpond

February 28th, 2010 · No Comments

As far as I can ascertain, the second album by the band VRIL has been made without any bee involvement whatsoever. These eighteen new waxings by the group – now a quartet – form the soundtrack to the European arthouse film classic The Fatal Duckpond.. Seven hours long, black and white, and silent for large [...]

 

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Hooting Yard: Dixon of Dock Green

February 15th, 2010 · No Comments

Dixon went to Dock Green. It was a small patch of grass, hardly a lawn, at the edge of the dock. The dock itself was one where huge steamers came into port from faraway lands, carrying all sorts of exotic cargo. The cargo was mostly packed into wooden crates, which were winched from ship to [...]

 

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Hooting Yard: Abasement in a Basement

February 6th, 2010 · No Comments

Just as a bus is the best place for abuse, you should ideally perform abasement in a basement. There is something about the subterranean nature of the location which lends itself to the embrace of personal wretchedness.

Abasement in a Basement
The Stinerian Gnomes: An Introduction
L’Homme qui Grogne
Mops Held High
Tonsured Buffoon

This episode was recorded on the 6th [...]

 

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Hooting Yard: The Cow & Pins

January 24th, 2010 · 1 Comment

Every so often I receive letters from readers asking for background information on particular features of Hooting Yard. My usual practice is to ignore such enquiries and stuff them into a cardboard box, and to shove the cardboard box into a dark cranny. But sometimes I feel impelled to shine a torch into the cranny, [...]

 

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Hooting Yard: Dobson’s Kitchen Groanings

January 12th, 2010 · No Comments

I was mistaken, yesterday, to suggest that Dobson wrote a pamphlet entitled Kitchen Groanings, like the late eighteenth century work of the same name penned by an angry cook-wench or discontented housemaid. I was sure there was some kind of Dobson connection, and leapt to the most obvious thought, that it was yet another out [...]

 

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Hooting Yard: Dismember that Heron

January 3rd, 2010 · No Comments

“The terms of a carver be as here followeth. Break that deer – lesche (leach) that brawn – rear that goose – lift that swan – sauce that capon – spoil that hen – frusche (fruss) that chicken – unbrace that mallard – unlace that coney – dismember that heron – display that crane – [...]

 

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Hooting Yard: With My Fife and my Drum

December 24th, 2009 · No Comments

With my fife and my drum I wandered in the hills. I tooted my fife and I banged my drum. This was why I was wandering in the hills, for I had been banished from town. My tooting and banging unnerved the good burghers, and the bad burghers too, and I was escorted to the [...]

 

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Hooting Yard: “Strangle a pig and burn down the barn and doh-si-doh your partners!”

November 23rd, 2009 · No Comments

It was a rallying cry, and in its wake pigs were strangled, barns were burned, and doh-si-dohs were essayed. How sweet the memory of those dances of my grandparents’ youth. I was not alive then of course, so I have no direct memory, but I recall, as an infant, sitting in a basket slung over [...]

 

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Hooting Yard: Dobson’s Card Index

November 3rd, 2009 · No Comments

The astonishing thing about the “little placards” displayed by Father Sogol, the Professor of Mountaineering in Daumal’s novel, is how similar they are to the immense card index maintained by Dobson, upon which he relied when writing his out of print pamphlets. Dobson would have approved, too, the Professor’s method of displaying the cards – [...]

 

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