Now you’ve done it. This instalment introduces us to the dot matrix guitar (‘printar’) emanating dotty boss riffs and hot licks (literally: the print head gets hot enough to fry eggs on) which are played and amplified in your general direction, love. Subsequent misery ensues:
- Phone Chr*s Or Die Trying
- Mama was a Shapeshifter – Denny Clavicon
- Summer Holiday – The Upset Bunch
- Reality Often Blurs (I HATE LIFE)
This episode contains a sob story, but more importantly: a celebrity interview(!), but I shanâ€™t spoilt it by revealing too much. How refreshing! Hereâ€™s a mapping to guide you through this episodeâ€™s construct:
- JJ and his Substrates – Submarining
- Magazine reviews
- It Seems So Right, Itâ€™s Wro-ho-ong – The Effeminate Xylophonists
- Sludgemunchkin – Sludgemunchkin
- Heimlich Manoeuvrability – Cindyâ€™s Workout Tapes (No. 14)
- Untitled Lament for a departed celebrity
Under a cloud of financial/general difficulties our host finds himself homeless, so woos us with his â€™sonic portraitâ€™ skills that showcase his potential as your personal in-house artist (if you grant him accommodation, that is). A marvellous gem from his music collection follows:
- Sam Jones – Hero
- An enthused reading of a poem entitled â€˜Onionâ€™ ends inâ€¦ yes, youâ€™ve guessed it: tears. Literally, in fact, as our host has an accident of the wet, lukewarm and gold variety.
- Ron, Pamela and Betty in conjunction with the Whetstone Amateur Melodramatic Society – Neighbourhood Watchdogs
- The joy of looking in bins
- Dean – How Do You Make Money?
- How Do You Make Money (instrumental â€˜Employee of the Monthâ€™ remix)
Following the well-trodden path of saying â€œhelloâ€ on radio and suchlike, attempts are made to orientate the listener as fully as humanly possible. However, the introduction is stripped of all credibility and matter-of-factness, as the dialogue was recorded in anti-realtime from within a phase inverted superelectromagnetic space-chamber which interferes with oneâ€™s perception of time.
I have it on good authority that in spite of the embarrassing proclamations herein, his parents are still proud of him; mainly because of the anti-realtime time disruption facilitator thingybob, a difficult thing to build indeed.
Tracks proceed thusly:
- Peter Grudzein – Candy Arse Lover
- Followed by a short acoustical investigation.
- The Jazz Punishment Directive – Dance like a Victim
- Felicityâ€™s Bean – Heavy Metal
- Followed by an amusing anecdote
- Admiral Messyface and his Bumchugging Jizz Quartet – Shropshire Examiner
- A haiku couplet.
- Abu Quitar-Martyr and the Funk Radicals – There She Goes (Fatwa)