A treasury of bedtime tales for pallid and sickly infants, Befuddled By Cormorants is a collection of fifty two stories from Hooting Yard On The Air, Frank Key’s acclaimed radio show on Resonance FM.

• How I Plunged Into The Bottomless Viper-Pit Of Gaar
• Misprints
• Frustum, Tang, Sluice
• Gods

Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase in print and digital formats. Please visit www.lulu.com for more information.

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 3rd January 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase.

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“It was the middle of the night, and there was no moon, or I should say the moon was hidden by monstrous black clouds, so it was very, very dark. Nonetheless, one would have thought the thief who clambered over a fence to steal things from my back garden would have carried a torch or some other means of illuminating his criminal intent.

But not only was he a clumsy thief, he was a thief who lacked foresight. Because the day was still light when he set out from the hut o’ ne’er-do-wells where he lived, he seems to have assumed it would still be light when he approached the wooden fence which divides my back garden from the old muddy lane. But it was no longer light. I lived so far away from the hut that it took him hours and hours to reach my garden. His route was crooked and even convoluted, for he hugged the hedgerows and dared not stride across open fields, nor follow main roads, and nor did he risk using any of the public transport systems available, the pneumatic railways or the canal barges, for, being bent on crime, he did not wish to be seen.” Extract from ‘The Agony In The Garden‘.

• Blodgett’s Jihad
• WWDD
• The Agony in the Garden
• Reading of the section ‘Alaskan Birds‘ from ‘Further Science‘ by Norman Davis
• Through Clenched Teeth
• Railway Forecast

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 27th September 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Photo by Muffet.

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“Far, far away, there is a galaxy of shattered stars, stars crumpled and curdled and destitute, and there is a planet tucked in among these sorry stars, a tiny pink planet of gas and water and thick foliage, and tucked in among the fronds and creepers and enormous leaves of this foliage lie millions of unhatched eggs, and when they hatch they will hatch millions of magnetic mute blind love monkeys.” Extract from Far Far Away

• Rose Garden
• Epoch of Snares
• Far Far Away
• Fear Eats the Soul

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 6th September 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Photo by oswaldo.

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