Author Archives: danwilson

Epistaxis Time – The End

It feels unsafe… Has the second series of Epistaxis Time come to a premature end? Yes, probably. This show wasn’t submitted with the usual accompaniment of feverish text and ingredient listings, and I am loath to supply bullet-pointed provisional song titles for fear of error. Conspiracy theories abound that our host was ‘pretending to die’, and was in fact recruited by Sainsbury’s secret Trolley Reclaimant Squad for his deep understanding of the Mandelbrot chaos that comprises local trolley displacement and the logic of it all. We don’t know!
Epistaxis 6 Trolleys

Epistaxis Time – Slurgle

You’re in for an anti-treat! This Epistaxis thrusts us into a beautiful plush environment of slurgles, polythene oysters bearing mucous pearls, a trolley quivering in an alleyway, crazed metal and meat agape. Feel loneliness.

Bubbles, Resonators and AlleywayOil fat is mixed with Nivea Visage Q10 plus (the world’s favourite anti-wrinkle cream) bubbling wildly, then fed into EM coils which induce an electrified shopping basket to resonate and tease out standing waves within the grille to dispense their periodicity and sonic cum. This eventually caves in to a rather disorientating tale of one agoraphobe’s mental preparations to hurl a bit of toilet roll into a record store (full of socially adept twats).

Lovely soothing stuff, and especially encouraging if you’re a gentle person in a horrid testosteroney world (BTW, I implore you to bathe in oestrogenised sequins with purple daffodils) coming to terms with steel, glass, concrete, etc.