Karen played the drums and sang. Her brother Richard played keyboards and supplied backing vocals. Unfortunately, Karen died young. Richard is still alive, still active in music, but The Carpenters as a duo are no longer with us.

These bare facts stated, astute readers will note the remarkable similarities between The Carpenters and the homonymic The Carpenters who were so successful during the 1970s with songs such as Close To You and Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft. Neither of these songs was recorded by The Carpenters of whom we speak, for their music was somewhat different, an outré blend of salsa, bluegrass, acid jazz, bell-ringing and caterwauling, often driven by motorised electric balalaikas programmed by Karen. Richard was known to be fond of factory hooters.

• Meditations upon the papacy
• In Loopy Copse
• Synopsis of “Life in a Thousand Worlds” by rev W. F. Harris.
• What you should know about The Carpenters
• Dobson’s Fear of Squirrels
• Practical Seagull Exercises

This episode was first transmitted on the 13th April 2005.