Resonance FM Podcasts » Hooting Yard

Hooting Yard : Poop Deck Vampires

Frank Key — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:04:11 +0000

Captain Cake had gone to sea in a battered and leaking ship. He drank his grog from a bakelite cup. When he walked upon the orlop deck he sang in vulgar Latin, and every morning he made the sailors pray at Matins. The bo’sun had a voodoo doll pierced with many pins.

But Captain Cake had a jacket made of tin, and he made the bo’sun walk the plank till he fell into the churning sea. All the sailors rollicked with glee. So Captain Cake sat in his cabin reading a book about gourds. Then they landed on an island of bloodthirsty hordes. The purser chucked the voodoo pins at the leader of these folk, who put down his sword and began to choke. Captain Cake wanted to be the island king, but they already had a god with bright and fluttery wings, and the god made the captain bow down on the sand. So if you sail the hectic seas be sure to understand that leaking ships can run aground at the drop of a hat. If only Captain Cake had realised that.

Neglected Crunches
Second Letter From A Wooden Child
Download News
More About Captain Cake
Quotation from The Tachypomp by Edward Page Mitchell
Quotation from William G. Boykin

This episode was recorded on the 10th April 2008. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_2008_04_17.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Duffel Coat Cuffs

Frank Key — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:14:35 +0000

Dear Mr Key : I was minding my own business, sitting on my bench in the attic room of the Mercy Home For Abandoned Infants Made Of Wood, when my attention was drawn to your article entitled Wooden Child And Fiery Serpent And Trees. I should at once make it clear that I am a wooden child and that I often run errands along the very same lanes of your bailiwick such as the one shown in the picture, and that on numerous occasions when running such errands I have been menaced by serpents belching forth flame from their mouths or from their fundaments and sometimes, terrifyingly, from both.

Botany Lesson
Buster And Radbod
Letter From A Wooden Child
Some Rare Editions Of The Bible : Number One
Bring Forth, Devil, Your Elks
Quotation from The Moonstone Mass And Others by Harriet Prescott Spofford

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_2008_04_10.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Fat Horse Brain Media

Frank Key — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 21:27:25 +0000

Tiny Enid knew all there was to know about the capture of ostriches. As we sat together gulping down tumblers of lukewarm tap water, she gave me some tips.

A Cowboy Story
Derailed By Bees
The Path Of Pollen
The Adventures Of Tiny Enid
Tiny Bird Brains
Remember, Remember
Homage To Esther And Abi Ofarim
Quotation from The Lights Of Wisdom Pertaining To Conjugal Love by Emmanuel Swedenborg
Quotation from In Literary Taste: How To Form It by Arnold Bennett

This episode was recorded on the 27th March 2008. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_2008_03_27.mp3)

Hooting Yard : By Aerostat to Hooting Yard - Part 2

Frank Key — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 22:24:44 +0000

What an old slowcoach I was! - so busy rooting around in my haversack that I did not use my eyes. Mopsa was right. I followed her pointing finger and saw a tremendous brickish portal, ornamented with lozenged carvings of quicklime, bilberry and glunt. I had reached my destination. Somewhere behind those gates lurked Burble, and I was coming for him. Mopsa’s wheelchair was soon knocked back into shape, and she rattled off towards the outskirts of Hoon. Before she left, and despite my protestations, she insisted that I take half of her biscuits. As soon as her back was turned, I ground them into the muck beneath my boot. I could not bear the distractions of shortbread: my mush-bags would suffice.

By Aerostat to Hooting Yard - Part 2
They’ve Stolen Dobson’s Brain!
Dobson After Death
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
Quotation from Disputed Handwriting by Jerome B. Lavay
Quotation from My Magazine published 1918

This episode was recorded on the 28th February 2008. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_2008_02_28.mp3)

Hooting Yard : By Aerostat to Hooting Yard - Part 1

Frank Key — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:31:30 +0000

It had been two years since one of Dobson’s communiques had uprooted me from my rut and catapulted me into frantic adventure; three years before that I had been sent on a mission, ranging over four continents; the year before that embroiled in a world-shattering plot; and there had been at least half a dozen earlier escapades. No doubt these Dobson-inspired excitements were meant to be wild and life-enhancing, yet I yearned for tedium and futility. Trudging out of the boiler room, I began to sob. It would be weeks, perhaps months, before I could once again wallow in monotony and ennui.

By Aerostat to Hooting Yard - Part 1

This episode was recorded on the 21st February 2008. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_2008-02-21.mp3)

Hooting Yard : The Blötzmann Technique

Frank Key — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:53:50 +0000

Trawling through the various biographical documents which survive, I have found no indication that Tiny Enid ever professed any religious impulses whatsoever, nor, for that matter, any more broadly spiritual leanings. Indeed, all accounts agree that she was a severely practical type of heroic infant, never more essentially herself than when solving very concrete problems, usually involving the rescue of persons imperilled. One thinks, for example, of Tiny Enid abseiling down a crevasse to deliver a life-saving polythene bag of nutritious bread pudding to the half-starved, half-frozen polar explorer Sir Blinky Cheeselip, or digging a tunnel under the Vindervandersee to reach a trio of extras from a Werner Herzog film trapped in a subterranean pool rife with blind albino aquatic tentacled beings each with thousands of razor sharp fangs and unassuageable appetites. One pictures Tiny Enid kicking a git in the head with her big black boot.

This episode was recorded on the 31st January 2008. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_2008-01-31.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Unaccustomed Competence

Frank Key — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 21:57:31 +0000

Rags, pumps, the sea, and crime. Those are my areas of hard-earned expertise. I learned what little I know in the school of rags and pumps and the sea and crime, that is to say, in everyday, unlettered learning, in the town square of a foul and vinegary seaside resort, under torrential rain, listening, rapt, to shorebound submariners who had polished many a periscope with many a rag in their time. Their testimony is often overlooked in our universities and think-tanks, more’s the pity.

This episode was recorded on the 17th January 2008. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_2008-01-17.mp3)

Hooting Yard : The Helmet of a Conquistador

Frank Key — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 17:30:22 +0000

Munching a whelk, I turned my attentions to the diagrams themselves. They were fearfully complicated. I am no architect, and at first all I could make out were miriad lines meeting at angles and criss-crossing each other seemingly at random. Most of the diagrams had been subjected to revision, and there was much evidence of erasure, overprinting and churlish emendation. My studies were interrupted by a sudden and ferocious thunderstorm.

Shoving the diagrams hastily back into the canister, unfortunately tearing one of them, I hobbled back to my shelter, where my viper was busy biting the head off an unidentified rodent. Tossing my crutches into the corner, I lay back on my pallet and spent a profitable hour mucking about with bits of wire and driftwood to make a trap for bats.

This episode was recorded on the 10th January 2008. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_2008-01-10.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Factorum et Dictorum Memorabilium

Frank Key — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 11:20:56 +0000

I have never been a fan of comic books, nor have I developed a taste for graphic novels. I can admire the skill and inventiveness, but somehow I can’t drum up genuine enthusiasm.

Of course, as a child, I had my weekly diet of comics, including Pipsy Papsy, Factorum Et Dictorum Memorabilium, and The Dinky, but when I discovered proper books I was smitten by prose, and there was no turning back.

This episode was recorded on the 13th December 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_December_13th_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Jubilate Agno

salimfadhley — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 11:00:11 +0000

Jubilate Agno is a long poem by Christopher Smart. It was written between 1758 and 1763, during which time Smart was incarcerated in Mr Potter’s private madhouse in Bethnal Green. He had been admitted there after a stay in St Luke’s Hospital for the Insane, where he had been sent due to a religious mania the chief symptom of which was a compulsion to pray in public.

Smart had long been thought one of the minor religious poets of the 18th century, best known for the Song To David. Jubilate Agno itself was unknown until an edition was published in 1939 under the title Rejoice In The Lamb : A Song From Bedlam. But it was the 1954 edition edited by W H Bond which gave us the poem in its accepted form, and which has led to Smart being hailed as a great original, and his poem much more than simply the ravings of a lunatic.Jubilate Agno is divided into four fragments, the second of which is subdivided again in the edition from which this reading is taken. It is, in the words of one writer, a vast hymn of praise, glorifying God and his creation. So, with that in mind, listen carefully to what may be the first complete reading of the entire poem on the radio – if anyone knows of any other broadcasts, please let us know,

Jubilate Agno is read by Frank Key and Germander Speedwell. It will be broadcast at mid-day on the 27th December 2007.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_Special_-_Jubilate_Agno_vbr.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Dutch Kleptomaniac Stamp Collector

Frank Key — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 19:45:02 +0000

At the end of 1967 I met my penfriend Doris, who I had been writing to for three years. We fell in love, and were engaged on November 1st. Eight days later, from a bus in her home town of Blackburn, Doris saw a silvery UFO.

This episode was recorded on the 6th December 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_December_6th_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Frizzy-haired Minstrel

Frank Key — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 19:47:13 +0000

“Fear not, nipper!” she cried, “I am Tiny Enid and I have alerted the Air Sea Rescue Station at St Bibblybibdib to your sorry plight by attaching a message to the leg of a cumulet. The bird is flying its little heart out even as we speak, and soon a lovely big lifeboat will scud across the waves to rescue you. Preserve your energy, and stop trying to prise that last whelk from the rock, for soon you will be sitting at my kitchen table wolfing down a slap-up hot dinner of non-seafood items!”

This episode was recorded on the 1st November 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_November_1st_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Joie De Bogs

Frank Key — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 22:13:44 +0000

Regular readers know that my grasp of matters ornithological is second to none, so it is only fitting that I have been asked to compile an anthology of fictional works with the word “owl” in the title.

It might be argued that such a task is purely bibliographical and requires no specialist ornithological knowledge, but I will defend my ramparts, as one must in this world of rascals and cut-throats and people who claim to know rather more about birds than I do. I am used by now to lippy slanderers who accuse me of almost fathomless bird ignorance, and though I have been known to quail and sob, I try my best to turn my becardiganed back on my detractors and get on with the job. So I am pleased to announce that work on the anthology is almost complete.

This episode was recorded on the 22nd November 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_22nd_November_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Snackbar Hooligans

Frank Key — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 19:35:02 +0000

This was not the first time I had been given a pancake hint at a seaside resort, and as I headed off towards the steep steps up to a lawn and a crazy golf facility, I cast my mind back to an earlier occasion.

It was a different seaside resort, and a different pancake hint, but the weather was similar, and so, curiously, was the biddy, though this previous biddy had fewer bags about her person and we were nowhere near an ice cream kiosk.

This episode was recorded on the 15th November 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_15th_November_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Pudding Flaps

salimfadhley — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:13:28 +0000

A while ago I wrote about hiking pickles, and today I want to address the equally important topic of pudding flaps. Flaps about pudding are rarer than they once were, chiefly because puddings play a less critical role in our diets than used to be the case. Time was when no meal was innocent of a pudding, and though of course not every pudding preparation was the occasion of a flap, the incidence of such flaps was obviously more frequent.

One or two psychoculinary statisticians have attempted to put a precise figure on the occurrence of pudding flaps, and one feels pity for them, pity mixed with mocking laughter. Sooner or later, I think, we are going to have to accept that we will never know how often the making of a pudding was done in a state of flap, certainly not to a statistically significant extent.

This episode was recorded on the 11th October 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_October_11th_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Reinvigorating The Citizenry

Frank Key — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 07:06:36 +0000

Whooper swans whooped on the airport pond. Beyond it, by the grain silo, the airport squirrel skittered and twitched, as if terrified. But it was on home ground, and scared of nothing. As with all squirrels, its twitching was merely the outward sign of its high metabolic rate. A path led from the grain silo to Runway Number Nineteen, where on this fogbound morning a supersonic überjet from a bygone era sat rusting on the gravel.

Nineteen had been the experimental runway, where madcap airport boffin Dr Loopy Streisand used to conduct his madcap boffinry, before his transfer to another airport in another country on another continent far away across the sea. He had not welcomed the move, flailing his weirdly dainty little fists at the airport security guards who dragged him forcibly from his boffin hut and shoved him on to a chopper. That was years ago now, neither the whooper swans nor the squirrel had been born, but everyone knew that Dr Streisand was forever plotting his return… and his revenge.

This episode was recorded on the 18th October 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_October_18th_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Bashing Biscuit Tins

salimfadhley — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 10:54:21 +0000

If you were fortunate enough to be hanging around with Blodgett on a Thursday morning in the middling years of the last century, you would as likely as not have been witness to a display of rare skill. For it was Blodgett’s endearing habit in those days, on Thursday mornings, to bash out various national anthems, using his fists, and sometimes sticks, on the base of an upturned biscuit tin.

He would have eaten all the biscuits for his breakfast, of course. Blodgett had learned by heart the national anthem of almost every state and statelet on the planet, reduced each one to its rhythmic core, and bashed them out on biscuit tins. He would do this at home, or by the edge of a pond, or halfway up a hillside. In truth, it mattered not where he was, for he had fallen into a routine. Thursday meant biscuits for breakfast, then bashing out anthems. So energetically did he thump and bash that by the end of his recital the biscuit tin would be a dented and effectively destroyed thing. Apparently he passed the ruined tins on to Jasper Poxhaven, the sinister scrap metal dealer whose yard was a few doors away from Blodgett’s chalet.

This episode was recorded on the 6th October 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_-_October_6th_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard: The Numan Question

Frank Key — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:39:18 +0000

A generation ago, the aeroplane pilot and sage Numan asked “Are friends electric?” It was pertinent then, and is perhaps more so now. Over the years, many thinkers have grappled with Numan’s question, but it is fair to say that none has been able to give a satisfactory answer. Much publicity was generated when Pilbrow published his big fat Symposium on the problem. The garlanded laureate of pseudo-sci fi hermeneutic psychobabble persuaded over a hundred movers, shakers, and hysterics to respond to the poser put by Numan, and then toured the radio and television studios giving inaccurate summaries of their replies.

Few who saw it will forget the Newsnight appearance when Pilbrow’s pretensions were comprehensively demolished by weatherman Daniel Corbett, who strode across the set from his meteorological map and literally tore a copy of the Symposium to shreds before Pilbrow’s – and Jeremy Paxman’s – eyes. It was a cheaply-produced paperback edition of the book, with weakly-glued binding, but Corbett’s feat was no less impressive for that.

This episode was recorded on the 27th of June 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by neon.macmita.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_2007_June_27th.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Farmyard Slurry

Frank Key — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 17:59:14 +0000

To those among the gathered peasants who were existentialists familiar with Sartre, it was apparent that Bonkers Maisie was plucking phrases from the book at random. To the rest, the words took on a haunting grandeur. Some wept. All were transfixed.

The Huffington Post
Tidy Is As Tidy Does
Bonkers Maisie
The Sick Pig
Himmelfarb
Boot Bath

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 20th June 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by hoof666.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_2007_June_20th.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Jean-Claude Unanugu

Frank Key — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 18:00:05 +0000

If you spend a bit of time thinking about the matter, it becomes apparent that human ingenuity has created a myriad of pastes. At one end of the spectrum are thick pastes, tacky to the touch, and at the other are pastes so runny that they are akin to goo.

There are other ways of thinking about the variety of pastes other than the thick-to-thin or tacky-to-goo spectrum, but they have less appeal. Why is this? Not surprisingly, it is a question to which Dobson once turned his magnificent pamphlet-writing brain.

Goofy, Macabre
Tacky To Goo
Song Of The Grunty Man
Name That Boy!

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 13th May 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by barto.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_2007_June_13th.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Drainpipe Trousers

Frank Key — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 17:29:41 +0000

In the old town of Plovdiv, Ugo plopped his pod onto a stool. Ugo’s ma said, “Ugo, why are you using a pod instead of a jar?” Ugo’s ma was blind, but she knew that the plop of Ugo’s pod was different to the plop of his jar. “Oh, ma,” said Ugo, “My jar is in the shed.” Ugo’s ma bashed Ugo on the head. “Never leave your jar in the shed, Ugo,” she said, “When you do I will bash you on the head, as I just did.” Ugo said, “Sorry, ma. My pal Ulf put my jar in the shed.” “Ah,” said Ugo’s ma. On Thursday last. In a hovel. In the old town of Plovdiv.

Puny And Dying
The Man Who WOuld Be Dobson
Drink Ye Every One The Waters Of His Own Cistern, Until I Come And Take You Away
Ugo Goofs Off
Ugo’s Pal Ulf
Ugo’s Pod
Ugo’s New Hooter
Ugo Turns Blue
Ugo Goes Loopy

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 6th May 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by lucienvenutian.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_June_6th_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Legendary Department Store

Frank Key — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 16:14:20 +0000

It was pale and fierce, gulping down a bowl of soup. I wondered if it was Jah, come to deliver me from Babylon, but I have a very shaky grasp of Rastafarianism, so I cast that thought unto the winds.

The Pabstus Tack Trilogy
Pale And Fierce
A Byword For Utter Gorgeousness
Pebblehead Versus Pebblehead

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 30th May 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by herby fr.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_2007_May_30th.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Glassy-eyed Noodlehead

Frank Key — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 18:04:02 +0000

I think we were meant to see the captain as a kind of Ahab figure, obsessed and mad as well as sinister, but for me this effect was flawed by the fact that it was a rented tugboat. Bagshaw/Shawbag did not own it. Every week he had to slip some coinage into the waiting palm of a seaside bureaucrat, representative of a dull organisation stuffed with accountants and administrators.

Their main business seemed to be civic coastline management and prettifying, with renting out a tugboat to a sinister begloved madman as an afterthought. Somehow that made him less the master of his vessel, for me, and I remember tutting ruefully as I read the paragraph in which this was explained. Whoever wrote the story clearly felt it was important, for it was a very long paragraph, leaden with detail, and I skipped past it on my subsequent rereadings.

Tugboat Tales, Number One
Crouch And Kaka
Annals Of The Frankish Kings
A Message From Beyond
Mrs Gubbins Throws A Fit

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 23rd May 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by Chris J.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_2007_May_23rd.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Local Gaar-pot Drinking Hut

Frank Key — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 19:30:19 +0000

Autumn. Shipwreck. Curtains. Exile. Frost. Balconies. Pandaemonium. Hedgerows. Banisters. Carpets. Hinges. Remembrance. Hair. Custard. Dribble. Fanfares. Dampness. Bauxite. Trousers. Canals. Boskage. Lasciviousness. Tunics. Spigots. Iron. Cranks. Floozies. Doppelgangers. Tin. Bales. Agony. Loss. Lust. Love. Crack. Bang. Crunlop. Lars Talc is dead.

A reading from Characters; or Witty Descriptions of the Properties of Sundry Persons by Sir Thomas Overbury
What’s On In Mustard Parva
Obsequies For Lars Talc, Struck By Lightning
Punter Hoonjaw
Dobsonia
A Person From Porlock
Today’s Recipe
Important Lark Information
Personality Profile

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 16th May 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by Mil.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_2007_May_16th.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Whirling Tangle Of Peasants

Frank Key — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 21:09:45 +0000

“Now and again, it will do you a power of good to spend a Wednesday morning tramping along a high ridge, blowing a trumpet and waving a banner. If you can persuade others to join you, so much the better. It will not matter if you are tuneless and raggle-taggle - the experience itself can pump vital energy into your blood, oxygenating your brain and feeding crucial nutriments into your integuments.”

A Note On Pigs
The Unspeakably Squalid Becrumplement Of Tadzio Gobbo
Trumpets And Banners
Mansfield
The Rotation Of The Globe
A quotation from The Monkey God by Seabury Quinn

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 9th May 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by trevorparker.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_2007_May_9th.mp3)

Hooting Yard : A Man Without A Ditch

Frank Key — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 19:13:28 +0000

We all know that there was an age known as the Epoch of Snares, but it is surprising how little is generally known about it. This was a time when giant badger-like beings roamed the hills of the earth, when the oceans were deeper, darker, and more terrifying than they are now, and when only the very bravest of souls volunteered to crew the enormous primitive container ships that plied across those seas.

Rose Garden
Epoch Of Snares
Far Far Away

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 2nd May 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by Dr. Smarties.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_2007_May_2nd.mp3)

Hooting Yard : Crime-fighting Chops

Frank Key — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 19:10:36 +0000

O! Savage & vile & pink & bloated thing!

Curs’d uncanny globule of despair!

Monstrous, too! So pale & shuddering!

Its gleaming talons clawing at my hair!

Hast this being come t’ announce my doom?

Its head is like a chaffinch or a gull.

It has been sent by Doctor Bogenbroom,

Invoked by minstrel-wizards Jethro Tull.

Quotation from Shamanism In Siberia by MA Czaplicka
Cargpan And Beppo
Quotation from A Caveat Or Warning For Common Cursitors, Vulgarly Called Vagabones by Thomas Harman
Bullfinch Advice
The Adventures Of The Men With Whisks
Scenes From The Lives Of The Poets : 1. Maud Abdab
A Guide To Pointy Town : Part One
A Guide To Pointy Town : Part Two
Fiends Of The Farmyard
The Seven Dwarves

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 18th April 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase. Photo by Yogi.

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Hooting Yard : Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars

Frank Key — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 16:19:59 +0000

Hooting Yard is excited (possibly overexcited) to announce publication of Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars, a decisively sensible novella of high adventure, derring-do, and baffling conspiracies. Prior knowledge of arcane philatelic imponderables is useful, but not necessary. The book also contains two shorter pieces, one of which features mute blind magnetic love monkeys.

Far Far Away
Fangs In The Mist
Dietary News
Team Hooting Yard
Blazing Excelsior Saturated With Turpentine
Certain Aspects Of Plastic Baubles And Plastic Sheeting

Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars is available for purchase in print and digital formats. Please visit www.lulu.com for more information.

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 11th April 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the two publications Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.

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Hooting Yard : Particularly Toothsome Marmalade

Frank Key — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 18:05:47 +0000

I shall go. I shall bestride my horse that is known as the Big Frightening Horse That Gallops, and you shall watch us vanish in the dust as we ride into the sunset, heading for the huge and terrifying fiery Mountains of Awfulness.

Old Farmer Frack
“He Which Is Filthy, Let Him Be Filthy Still”
True Adventures Of The Child Of Gumption
Found At A Jumble Sale
Actual Size
Fangs In The Mist

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 4th April 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by myrtepeert.

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Hooting Yard : Goose Grease And Lavender

Frank Key — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 13:23:44 +0000

From the lych-gate of St Bibblybibdib’s, looking westward, on a clear day one can see the top of the Blötzmann mast, with its cherry and dun pennants. Turning to the east, the prospect is of fields rippling with wheat and rhubarb and hollyhocks and stinkwort, punctuated by ha-has and the occasional scarecrow.

No wild jabbering pigs are to be seen, for they were eradicated by the same unexpected lupine savagery which did for the squirrels during the nut glut, just at the time Dobson falsely claimed a nut shortage led to his adoption of the Blötzmann Manoeuvres as his favoured way of trimming the tallow candle wicks the untrimmedness of which set his teeth on edge so.

Balsa Wood Crow
Sappensopp Days
Blötzmann Manoeuvres
They’ve Stolen Dobson’s Brain!
Blenkinsop

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 28th March 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by MrUllmi.

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Hooting Yard : Embedded With Floral Motifs

Frank Key — Mon, 28 May 2007 08:44:40 +0000

Dobson’s Six Lectures On Fruit were among the most highly-regarded of his works, held in an esteem that the contemporary reader finds unfathomable. Revisiting these pamphlets, it swiftly becomes apparent that Dobson has no idea what he’s talking about. The revised view of the Lectures is put best by one upstart young Dobson scholar, who dismisses them as “bloviating and orotund”.

Celebrity Flibbertigibbet Attic
Six Lectures On Fruit
Where Eagles Dare
Emboldened, In Gumboots
Vagrant Goat God
My Brother’s Cistern And My Sister’s Cistern
At Long Last, An Answer To The Blodgett Duffel Bag Query

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 14th March 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by Chris B in SEA.

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Hooting Yard : Cramp Medication

Frank Key — Sun, 20 May 2007 19:11:36 +0000

I stared at the cows, and the cows stared back.

They showed no sign of letting me pass. And then it dawned on me that they must have been sent as emissaries to stop me returning to the prog rock bewilderment home where Primrose tended to ghouls. The cows were trying to save me from becoming a ghoul myself, and urging me, in their quiet, cow-like way, to turn around, and to return in the direction of the horrible cave!

The Horrible Cave : Part One
The Horrible Cave : Part Two
The Horrible Cave : Part Three
The Horrible Cave : Part Four

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 7th March 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by I-Man–10N.

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Hooting Yard: Beam Of Fantastic Glee

Frank Key — Sun, 13 May 2007 22:23:36 +0000

There was a heroic bus driver, and his name was Kim Fat Goo. He drove his bus through puddles. He drove it straight and true, though he swerved if he saw a duck or a pig or an infant human tiny or a succubus or an incubus as he steered towards the briny. He drove his bus across Pointy Town, heading for the sea. At the beach he stopped to let passengers off and he drank a flask of tea. Oh, Kim Fat Goo he drained his flask and he tipped the dregs in the sand, and he idled awhile on the promenade and he watched a spaceship land.

Out poured a gaggle of alien beings with flippers and antennae and claws and flagrant disregard for the rubric of Pointy Town laws.

The Heroic Bus Driver Of Pointy Town
The Ebbing Away Of The Age Of Gilded Tin Baths
A Weekend With An Owl God
Aztec Fundamentalism
The Central Lever
Old Halob : A Biographical Note
Exciting Gruel Recipe Quiz
Quotation from The Song Of The Cakes by Nat Schakner & Arthur L. Zagat

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 28th February 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by Frank Riva.

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Hooting Yard: Black Gold Green Crushed Crepe Hat

Frank Key — Mon, 07 May 2007 16:16:13 +0000

Miles away, Dobson was smoking his pipe and lackadaisically paying out the wool, hand over hand. Suddenly, he felt it jerk, and held on tight. And then he was yanked free of the thorny brambly creeping greenery rife with puffy spiders and venomous beetles and dragged across a wasteland of fields and gravel pits and sumps and countryside filth until he fetched up at the feet of the commandos who reeled him in, just as midnight struck.

Cow Byre Tsar
Satan’s Spa
Tremendous Potato Urgency
All Hail Yoko!
One In A Series Of Hiking Pickles
Gubbins Music
Strictly Pamphleteering
Father Hopkins, SJ

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 21st February 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by Nigel Jones.

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Hooting Yard: Ruritanian Princedom

Frank Key — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 21:02:50 +0000

“Hearken ye, stooped mendicant at my gate! I am Good King Wenceslas, and I am looking out, and I can see you, poor and shivering in your rags, for the snow is deep and crisp and even.

There are not even any tracks in the frozen white expanse, such as would be made by wolves or bears. Wait there at my gate, O wretch, and shortly I shall descend from my castle ramparts and join you in the snow!”

Chump And Flapper
Good King Wenceslas Impersonation Incident
The Socks Of Pepintude
Bronchitis Person’s Helicopter Journey
Muder In The Murk

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 7th February 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by Mixmaster.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_February_7th_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Interrogated By Interrogators

Frank Key — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:59:50 +0000

The out-of-print pamphleteer had a deep and abiding reluctance to pay for gas, and often considered living somewhere powered entirely by electricity, or the wind or the sun, or indeed existing without being dependent upon any source of energy whatsoever. But, as Marigold Chew has noted, rail as Dobson might, he was drawn inexorably to the blue, blue flames of burning gas, a man mesmerised.

The New Goat
It Was Dusk
The Bilgewater Elegies

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 31st January 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by ambientfusion.

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Hooting Yard: Crapwing

Frank Key — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 21:11:23 +0000

One day, after a huge breakfast, Ignapfando had a total eclipse of the heart, just like that songstress whose name escapes me. He did not look as if it was happening. Indeed to the untrained eye Ignapfando looked as if he was asleep, rather than in the throes of convulsive emotional turmoil accompanied by strident rock music. Adding to the disjuncture was the fact that Ignapfando resembled Clement Attlee, down to the finicky moustache and an inadvisable line in hats.

Nevertheless, when he went to his priest for confession the following Sunday, there could be no doubt about the upheavals of his passion.

Total Eclipse
Claude
Massacre Of The Innocents At Hoon
Vaporetto Or Bus?
Then The Boisterous Man
And No Birds Sing
Whither Blenkinsop?

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 17th January 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by The Horned Jack Lizard.

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Hooting Yard: Science Does Not Rest

Frank Key — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 18:56:08 +0000

From bulkhead to poop-hatch, instructions are being shouted back and forth by the ship’s crew.

The mighty sun is gleaming bronze. Flags are flying and the sky is alive with auks and terns and guillemots. Below decks in the gloomy cabin, the two men reluctantly greet each other. This was the historic moment when Blodgett met Dobson.

Saint Mungo: Read And Learn
Quotation from The Strange Life Of Nikola Tesla by Nikola Tesla
In A Bog
Pontiff!
About Enchatons
Norwegian Wool
Jarvis And Cubbit
Quotation from Cosmic Friends by Jimmy Goddard

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 10th January 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by the queen of subtle.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_January_10th_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Adept Of Goon Fang

Frank Key — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 17:39:09 +0000

It has to be said that most of the inhabitants of O’Houlihan’s Wharf are not worth writing about. They are, with few exceptions, a grey and insipid bunch. One of those exceptions, however, is the pedant from whose pen streams a series of righteous nostrums, or possibly nostra, regularly sent out into the world, or at least into this bilgewater-befouled corner of it, posted as they are on a noticeboard outside the pet shop, from which they are rapidly torn down and stuffed into the pockets of those citizens who collect them with something approaching mania.

Pansy The Adept
In The Bleak Midwinter
Christmas Dinner
A Pedant’s Righteous Nostrums

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 20th December 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by GloomyCorp.

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Hooting Yard: Discombobulate The Grizzled Marine Person

Frank Key — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 19:51:21 +0000

Lightning flashed and thunder roared. Up in the playroom, still cowering behind the arras, the Infanta Gertrude was startled to receive a message on her metal tapping machine. It was from Professor Sigismundo, the wild-haired, wild-eyed boffin who had been banished from the princedom a year before, and who was now based at an important research laboratory far, far away.

The Professor suggested to Gertrude that she get her laptop and look up his website, where she would find an essay subtitled Paupers’ Drool A Quack Potion And No Substitute For Rational Explanation When Emboldening Tiny Ones Terrified By Electrical Storms.

Quayside Harpy
Pauper’s Drool
Cake And Pastry Person

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 13th December 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by Night Owl City.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_December_13th_2006.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Little Alphonso The Memory Man

Frank Key — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 19:52:18 +0000

Fooling around in Didcot, Yaw found some bones. Those bones were Bong’s bones.

Belt’s matron ate his cheese. Yaw muttered. He fell about in fits. At the waterworks, Belt broke corks. His elk was in a tent. It looked like Bong. Bread rolls and snacks were stacked in crates. Yaw put them by his flask. He threw up on some rudders.

Dobson And Longevity
About Belt, Bong & Yaw
Tales Of The Marshes

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 6th December 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by Pathfinder Linden.

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Hooting Yard: Splendid Buzzy Insects

Frank Key — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 00:25:19 +0000

So, yesterday it happened that I was accompanied by this Boswellboswell person. There I was, standing on the bridge in the rain, humming, and peering over across the fields to where the phlox and pansies and pinks, the hellebore and hollyhocks, the marigolds, verbascum and charlock and mimosa, spurge, gorse and erica, the lupins, the daffodils, the broom and japonica, the creeping jenny, the old man’s beard and the cow parsley, the speedwell and flax and dock and hops and oxlip and crocuses and teasel, and the geraniums and foxgloves and fleabane and jonquil and lobelia grow in such heavenly profusion, when the person from Potatovag drew up beside me in his death-trap jalopy, and shouted “When did you last clap eyes on the potatoes of Potatovag?”

Shrivelled
On The Air
Once Upon A Time
Glue: Some Do’s And Don’ts
The Potatoes Of Potatovag
Since You’ve Been Gone
Tex Mex Jiffy Bag Sprites

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 29th November 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by countrygirlatheart.

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Hooting Yard: When Is The Feast Day Of St. Mungo?

Frank Key — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 19:50:00 +0000

A Poem
An Abandoned Zoo
Bilgegrew’s Bible

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 15th November 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by Meatshield.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_November_15th_2006.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Graveyard Poets Of Pointy Town

Frank Key — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 21:05:11 +0000

Imagine you are in Ancient Greece, taking a stroll on Mount Parnassus. One of the Gods of Greek mythology suddenly appears in front of you. Imagine too that you are not of a placid and thoughtful nature (as I am sure you are) but a temperamental hothead prone to violence.

Surprised by the sudden appearance of a Deity - it does not matter which one - your first instinct is to lash out in terror and alarm. You sock the God on its jaw, cutting its lip. Now, it is not blood which flows from the wound, but ichor, a colourless ethereal fluid which ran through the veins of all the Greek Gods. If you are of a vampiric bent, be sure not to suck the ichor oozing from the God’s cut lip, for though it confers immortality on the Deities, it will be ruinous to you as a mere human, for it will poison you.

Untitled Work In Progress
A Refutation Of Some Of The Less Plausible Claims Made by Dennis Cargpan In His Woeful Lecture Delivered From The Balcony Of The Civil Hall At Bodger’s Spinney On Thursday Last During A Hailstorm To A Gathering Of Ingrates And Orphans
Fictional Substance Of The Week
A Series Of Unfortunate Cows
A story featuring Tony Buzan

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 8th November 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by Steve Crane.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_November_8th_2006.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Rancorous Squeegee Goblin

Frank Key — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 19:12:15 +0000

This episode of Hooting Yard On The Air contains the story ‘Ice Chaos’ which was written including words sponsored by listeners, in aid of raising funds for Resonance FM.

Now, it has been pointed out to me more than once that I am hardly qualified to talk about extreme weather conditions, as the only weather we get at Hooting Yard is rain, sometimes torrential, sometimes a drizzle, and this is true.

What my critics fail to note is that, ensconced in a cabin somewhere over by Blister Lane Bypass, we have a superb forecaster. I speak, of course, of Little Severin, the Mystic Badger. When it comes to predicting the weather, Little Severin is second to none, not even to the BBC’s magnificent Dan Corbett. If you have not watched Dan, visit That’s The Weather For Now and be amazed. Little Severin the Mystic Badger has not yet been blessed with a fan site all his own, but it can only be a matter of time.

Succour For Convulsive Infants
Ice Chaos
The Parish Wolf
Dobson’s Chartreuse Weskit
He Preened, Eating Bloaters

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 14th February 2007. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by Oneras.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_February_14th_2007.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Terrifyingly Pale Fists

Frank Key — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 13:28:16 +0000

I was sent some tickets in the post yesterday, as a special treat. I know that Tim the radio meteorologist says that Thursday will be a day of driving rain and howling gales, and I know that it will be the fourth day of our fast, and we will be famished, but I am determined that we go. The alternative is that we spend yet another afternoon trying to tether the wild goats, and I am not sure I can take much more of that, so the balsa wood factory it will be.

Deworming Your Goat The Hooting Yard Way
Sieves And Basins
The Story Of The Lame Dog, The Caged Bird, The Drowned Cat, The Gold Watch, The Whisky Boy And The Insane Boy
Reading from The Insane Root by Mrs Campbell Praed
Me And My Homunculus
An Outing
So You Want To Become A Haruspex?
Docking Hack
Orrery Sleuth

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 1st November 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase. Photo by ptrob59.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_On_the_Air_-_November_1st_2006.mp3)

Hooting Yard: Buttercups And Tod

Frank Key — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 22:26:48 +0000

How To Eat Mashed Potatoes Next To A Lighthouse
Tiny Enid Extinguishes A Volcano
Those Gubernatorial Bells
In Loopy Copse
Where Have All The Flowers Gone?
Pageantry
The Taxonomy Of Ducks, Swans & Geese Is In A State Of Flux

This episode of Hooting Yard was first broadcast on the 4th October 2006. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website, and the perfect Hooting Yard On The Air companion Befuddled By Cormorants is available for purchase.

Download audio file (Hooting_Yard_2006.10.04.mp3)